You would know something was wrong if a pigeon with arms was strutting around your front lawn with a sword. It's interesting to consider that apparently no-one in De Plancy's lifetime thought this little bird-captain was too cute for a demon of hell, though I'm sure people in 1818 thought that darling little birds caused smallpox and tornadoes, or something, right? Honestly though, Caim's innocent exterior here does make him fairly disturbing. Did Butler mean anything different in 1818 than it does now? I hope not, because I like where my imagination is heading. This pernicious pachyderm is described as a demon of gluttony and a butler of hell.
![dictionnaire infernal satan dictionnaire infernal satan](https://kcctreasures.files.wordpress.com/2019/10/keynes.c.10.01-page-562-detail.jpg)
De Plancy apparently thought Behemoth should be an evil demon elephant man, which I have to agree is a lot cooler than either theory. Others claim that it's a clear description of a dinosaur, because that would allegedly prove dinosaurs existed as recently as a few thousand years ago, and that would allegedly throw a wrench into evolutionary theory (SPOILER: it actually wouldn't). Some people say the Behemoth is just some big, dopey hippopotamus. Go sit in the corner, lanky dog-stork-lizard, and play with your 18th century aristocrat! Unfortunately, this guy wasn't actually named, so I decided he should be exempt from my top ten list. Whatever the intention or edition, however, the book is best remembered for its beautifully engraved illustrations, portraying major figures of the underworld in an array of eerily outlandish forms, like the towering horror above, as disturbing as it is ridiculous. Published in 1818, Collin De Plancy's Dictionnaire Infernal was originally intended to compile demons, devils and fallen angels as mere cultural constructs, until De Plancy's growing Catholic faith lead to the final 1863 revision, now conforming to what he considered factual, authentic Biblical canon - a real life Book of Vile Darkness to be wielded in the fight against evil. So yeah, eat it, Kurek family! I'm going to talk about devils for Halloween today, and all those invisible fiends floating around your heads are going to pop so many boners it won't even be funny. Of course, any association between my favorite holiday and the forces of hell is historically and culturally baseless in every way, and thus, all the same fanciful folklore as leprechauns, El Chupacabras and hot Martian spy-girls, serving only to fuel our imaginations and kill some time on a planet where the real magical monsters are the single-celled wonders too small for us to see. I grew up next door to one of those families who wouldn't let their children touch anything with a sheet ghost or a witch on it, or, for that matter, watch most cartoons or play with most toys, entirely on the basis that evil, supernatural monsters live under the ground and that dabbling in anything too cool would, I don't know, give them big fat boners or something.